Happiness is the secret to all beauty. There is no beauty that is attractive without happiness.
-Christian Dior.

I Will Be
by Leona Lewis

There's nothing I could say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me

All the pain, the tears I cried
Still you never said goodbye and now I know
How far you'd go

I know I let you down
But it's not like that now
This time I'll never let you go

I will be, all that you want
And get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart

All my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

I thought that I had everything
I didn't know what life could bring
But now I see, honestly

You're the one thing I got right
The only one I let inside
Now I can breathe, cause you're here with me

And if I let you down
I'll turn it all around
Cause I would never let you go

I will be, all that you want
And get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart

All my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

Cause without you I cant sleep
I'm not gonna ever, ever let you leave
You're all I've got, you're all I want

And without you I don't know what I'd do
I can never, ever live a day without you
Here with me, do you see,
You're all I need

And I will be, all that you want
And get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart

All my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

I will be, all that you want
And get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart

And all my life, you know I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

Specially for Nyayi.

My grandma (father's side) passed away yesterday.
Immediately went to attend her funeral when we got to know about it.
Cried silently while we were cabbing there.
The driver got curious & asked where we were heading to, what occasion.

When I entered the room, I can't help but to cry again when I saw her lying on the bed, covered.
She was so small, so fragile.
My aunt then lifted the cloth to let me see her face.
And immediately the waterworks started again.

It was like my first time attending a funeral actually tho' it was my 2nd.
My 1st was my grandpa's funeral, also my father's side.
But back then I was still a little girl so I couldn't really remember much about it.
Of cos I do have memories of him.

My nyayi & yayi looked so cute together.
It was like they were meant for each other, so compatible.
I still remember I used to visit them a lot when I was little.

I'm lucky I got to kiss her, say goodbye & see her again for one last time.
I wished I could've hugged her tho'.
I'll definitely miss her.

I'm sure she's at a better place now & God will take good care of her.
Maybe she's reunited with my grandpa now in heaven, who knows.
But I like to think she is. :]

It was nice to see my relatives again.
I never got to visit them last Hari Raya.
So many of my cousins have children now, either were married or getting married soon.
My father was there too, he brought along my step-sister.
Yes, I'm slowly accepting the fact now that I have one.
Her name's Lydia.

It helped that they were all those happy-go-lucky kinda people.
No matter what, laughter & smiles were always present.
It made yesterday easier.
I forgot how much of a clown my father was, in a good way of course.
It's lyke he will always slot in a joke in everything he says haha.




Hari Raya 2007

I think I'm done for now.
I don't really know hwta end this entry.
I think I'll leave you with lyrics of the song Love Me by Colin Raye.
For some reason it was suddenly in my head yesterday.
Maybe because it has to do with a grandparents love story heh.
It's a beautiful old love song.
give it a listen. click click!

Love Me

I actually have a lot of updating to do.
I'll try to find time soon alrighty.
much love :]

And between now and then, till I see you again,
I'll be loving you.

Love, me.

Love Me
by Colin Raye

I read a note my grandma wrote back in nineteen twenty-three.
Grandpa kept it in his coat, and he showed it once to me. He said,
"Boy, you might not understand, but a long, long time ago,
Grandma's daddy didn't like me none, but I loved your Grandma so."

We had this crazy plan to meet and run away together.
Get married in the first town we came to, and live forever.
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet, instead of her
I found this letter, and this is what it said:

If you get there before I do, don't give up on me.
I'll meet you when my chores are through;
I don't know how long I'll be.
But I'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.
And between now and then, till I see you again,
I'll be loving you. Love, me.

I read those words just hours before my Grandma passed away,
In the doorway of a church where me and Grandpa stopped to pray.
I know I'd never seen him cry in all my fifteen years;
But as he said these words to her, his eyes filled up with tears.

If you get there before I do, don't give up on me.
I'll meet you when my chores are through;
I don't know how long I'll be.
But I'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.
And between now and then, till I see you again,
I'll be loving you. Love, me.
Between now and then, till I see you again,
I'll be loving you. Love, me.