Added Links: Bo En.

Just when I'm trying to take a positive spin out of this situation..
it gets even worst.

Today isn't a good day at all.
-Not at all.

Yesterday I had a dream...
Or perhaps a nightmare might be a more appropriate term for it.

Somehow, it was tryin' to show me somethin'...
It showed me a scenario but in a different situation.
It was as if it was tryin' to show me what's really happening;
the problem.
A manifestation. A message behind it all.
And just maybe..

it was even showin' me the cause of the problem.

The worst part of it all was unbelievable to me.
So coincidential.
Because somehow, my nightmare came true today during recess.

I was so frustrated.
My head was all fuzzy, like some broken television or somethin'.
Black & white spots everywhere.
It was all messed up.
It really didn't help that I had a headache today.

I guess this thing has been affecting me so much that it's creeping into my dreams..
I'm thinking too much.

I went for Photography tday.
Saw photographs..
I couldn't help but remember the old times.

I hate this emosh*t.
:(

Secondly, got to know an unpleasant news.

Ishi's gone.
Yes, really gone.

click the link to know what I mean:

Ishi

I didn't believe what I heard when sabrina told me he was dead.
I had to ask her again to believe what I was hearing.

Ishi Lau.
A talented guy.
Dancer. Dance Instructor. Singer.
A person without a doubt full of potential to achieve bigger things;
to go greater heights.

In our memories & hearts, you'll always stay.
Never forgotten, always remembered.
R.I.P. Ishi.

I miss you, best friend.
I know you know.
But do you even care?

I really don't know why you're acting this way.
Can you please tell me why?
This situation's stuck in my head.
It won't leave me alone.
These tears don't mean a thing if it doesn't bring you back.

Memories can be the most sweetest thing.
It'll always stay, etched in our minds.
We can reminisce about it anytime we want.
Those happy moments..

But memories can also be last thing you want to remember.
And then all you want to do is to forget those moments & hope that they don't come back & haunt you anymore..

Mama.
For you, I'll put back my smile on my face & try to turn this frown upside-down. Anything to make you happy.

The advice I once gave you..
Yes, I forgot to apply it on myself.
I usually already have answers to my own questions but..
sigh.

This past few days I've been wondering why I've been unhappy lately..
why I've been having weird moods.
I only discovered the reason yesterday night.
I realised this situation's been eating me up inside.
It's been sub-conciously bothering me without me even knowing it.
I'm losing faith in friendships :(

My best friend.
It's been almost a week already.
I don't know why you blew me off without a reason.
You didn't even bother to apologise or acknowledge me.
I've come to realise that perhaps, I don't mean that much to you anymore.
Perhaps, you don't need me anymore.
Maybe all along, it was me that needed you..
And you never needed me at all?

Now I know what they really mean when they say "A friend in need, is a friend indeed."

I've come to realise that I've been taken for granted.
You were always on top of my list for everything.
The first for everything. Why?
Because you had my highest regard.
Because you were my best friend.

I never intended you to regard me as a best friend.
I don't even know if you ever did.
But I never thought that you'd treat me like this;
that I would only mean this much to you.
I guess you don't need me anymore.

I had so much faith in our friendship.
I believed we would last long.
But I stand corrected, once again, just like the friendship I had with my very first best friend.

I should know better. People change.
I've never been a fan of change.
Because I go through all my life seeing the people around me change.
Maybe it happens too much in my life.

Whenever I say forever or infinity,
I really mean it.
I won't say it if I don't see the possibility of it being true.

Now, there's nothing left to say.
Till this day, I still think you don't know your mistake.
Just like the last time.

I saw all this coming since the day you blew me off.
Perhaps life's getting predictable for me..
or maybe it's because I know you well.
I was really hoping my cynicism wouldn't get the better of me;
that all these predictions I had in my head were just my imagination.
But ironically, I was right.
And this is a situation where I hate being right.

It's a waste to see our friendship disappear just like that.
I rarely find somebody who gets me, somebody who knows me so well.
Somebody whom I have a natural connection with.
Somebody whom I can confide in.
Somebody whom I can open up my heart to.
Somebody whom I can tell just about everything.
I felt our friendship was one of the bestest one I've ever had;
a friendship that would only come by once in a lifetime.
You were somebody I trusted with all my heart.
Somebody I had so much faith in.

I spent almost my whole june holidays with you last year.
This year? Not even a single day.

I thank you for always being there the last time.
Now, it looks like our friendship ends here.
You got your own life & I've got mine.
Thanks, for once being the bestest friend I've ever had.

No more umbrella. :(
Here for infinity.

Now, all I want is my smile back.

LINKS
Added: Fantastic 5 Unofficial Website.
Relinked: Elaine Soo. Hazar.

Holidays!
I wished it was longer.
2 weeks is not enough laa..haha.

I'll try my best to recall every date heh.

Ouh! b4 i start, lemme warn you that this is gna be a long post.
lol :P

14 JUNE 07;

5N BBQ @ ECP :D

I love da beach :D
the sun. the sand. the breeze. the sea.
The perfect place to free your mind.
(:

The bbq.
honey-coated hotdogs -yummy :D
It was nice to see all da 5n peeps again (:

On da way back home,
weiyi kept pestering me to sing.
If not, she'll pout.
haha :P

Thanks to da bus driver of bus 55 for droppin' us halfway so that it was nearer!
heh :D

5 JUNE 07;

Watched Pirates Of The Carribean: At World's End with saiful :D
Was supposed to watch Blades Of Glory budden screened late so change of plans haha.

stoopid saiful.
Even b4 we met, he made me exercise lol -.-''
After da movie, I practically followed wherever he led me to.
LOL.

Ate @ Marina Sq.
Then took a loooong stroll till Clarke Quay..

-more exercise.
haha xD

the weather sucked laa can.
Refused to cooperate, at night also so hot lol.
But nevertheless, had fun.
Heh :D

the difference.
(:

2 JUNE 07;

Date with fiona :]
Bumped into weiyi @ da mrt.
Geez, there were so many people.
Mst probably it was bcos of da IT fair @ Suntec.
We went there for da book fair.
Dropped by where my wondergirl was workin' to kacau her haha.
Saw joel! :D

Ouh! Bought earrings for mama @ Marina Sq.
Quite stylo..cos the design resembles Burberry.
Budden she said it's too heavy haha :P

31 MAY 07;

The wait is orge...
Cos I watched Shrek 3 with my family @ PS! lol.
It's funny & the babies are soooo adorable :D
Plus, Justin Timberlake voices as King Arthur.
:DDDDD

After that, chilled @ Starbucks.
I realised it's been so long since I last went to Starbucks...

cos I didnt know whad to order lol.
In da end, settled for some caramel frappe or somethin'.

I still prefer McCafe!
Triple decker & Double Choc. Frappe.
Haaaaaaaaa :D

30 MAY 07;

Was supposed to have an outing with bibi, sabrina, peiling & ning zhi plus jo I think.
In da end, bibi & peiling got sick @ Kovan at da same time for some peculiar reason lol.
Then da rest duno haha xD
So left me & sabrina which then turned into a weiyi outing!
haha :D

Wenta Vivocity.
Love da outdoor environment there :]
Afterwards, wenta PS.
Bought same keychains there heh.
Weiyi never fails to enter Adidas & Nike shops lol.
x)

Yay! I'm done with dates lol.
Sorry if I happen to leave anything out or mixed up da dates heh.

After da Os, I owe 3 elaine(s) a date!
snoopy. sugarpie, together with toothfairy. wondergirl.
chan, tan & soo.
haha :D

I wonder will I get to know more elaine(s) in da near future..
hmm.

XD

Oh ya, there was this day whereby I met up with my mom in da afternoon @ vivocity.
After that, she brought me to her nightlife workplc, The Pump Room, to take somethin' from her friend.

I wanna go there when I'm 18! haha :D
Besides Pump Room, other clubs lyke MOS, Kandi Bar, The Clinic, Highlander & more are all arnd da same area.
so cool :D

Ouh, & I finally met her shuai friend, Alex.
HEH.

Anugerah Planet Muzik 2007.
a.k.a. APM :D

Ohmygosh. I screamed lyke mad at da start of it.
seriously. lol.
Cos Styles From Beyond performed :D
They were totally awesome!
gr8 job ;D

Ouh!
I was so high cos all my fave malay hunks were there!
Taufik Batisah. Hady Mirza. Fauzie Laily.
:DDDDD

Congrats to Taufik for clinching so many awards!
I'm so proud of him :D

It looks lyke Siti Nurhaliza is still da best among da female singers.
Whoops, I mean Datuk Siti Nurhaliza.
ahha :P

Suhaimi Yusoff was super duper hilarious as always.
He made me laugh my ass off lol.

Nickelodean Kids' Choice Awards.
Hosted by Justin Timberlake :D

He broke da slime barrier haha.
There were performences by Maroon 5 & Gwen Stefani with Akon.
*sings*

wooooohooo!~
yeeeeeehooo!~

XD

Congrats to Fantastic 5 for winning da dance competition @ KL :D
yepp, it's Fantastic Five now heh.



Superteen Workshop.
19-21 June.

Jellomee's bbq :D
22 June.

Things to do during da hols:

-Catch up with:
*Jellomee.
*Daud.
-Homework.
-Study.
-Tidy up room.
-Modify blog.
-Read.

I finally started reading again!
Currently reading What if..All The Boys Wanted You by Liz Ruckdeschel & Sara James.
I find this book so cool cos it let's you choose how you want da story to go.
Yepp, it's a choose your destiny novel, somethin' lyke Goosebumps.
I wish there were more similiar chick novels lyke this. :]

Yay!
Camera's fixed :D
I miss it so much haha.
Thanks to uncle dean for collecting it back for us.
:D

okie dokie, I guess I'm done here.
Will post up all da pics on my next entry.
CHEESE :D

Ha. Caught.
2 admitted.
That fatty bom-bom was probably too egoistic to confess.
What? Arent you proud of what you did?
Can't take it that karma has finally bitten your ass?

Smart enough to do such a shameless act & get away with it.
Dumb enough to hang around the vicinity & get caught.

Justice has been served.
In other words,
In yo' face, sh*theads :]

Haaaaaaaa.
I love karma :D

5 June 07.
Wrong place, wrong time.

It broke my heart when I saw you cry.
I asked myself, " What did you do to deserve this?"
Nobody deserves such a thing to happen on their birthday.

When I got to know about it,
I was filled with so much angst.
All I wanted to do was to beat the crap out of them.
I dont care. So what if I'm just a small girl?
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

Where do these people come from?
They're a disgrace to our society.
How dare they lay a hand on you.
How dare they hurt you.

People tell me I'm lucky that I wasn't present.
Would it have made a difference if I was there?
Would all this have happened in the first place?
This possibilities fill me up with guilt & regret.

Now, I wonder..
What if something happened to the both of you?
What will become of me?

I rather be in the scene of the crime with the both of you..
then to have to face this world alone.

I know what's important now is that you're safe & sound.
But I'm still not satisfied that the culprits are still on the loose.

What goes around, comes around.
I hope karma will come back & haunt them.
Watch out. Expect retribution soon.

Men.
-they never fail to disappoint me.

Give me a reason to believe.

I'm sorry if I haven't been myself lately.
Whenever I'm alone, I find myself still bothered by this.
Thinking too much of the possible worst case scenarios;
what if this & that happened.
That's when my pessimistic side takes over me.

I need space. Give me time.
Eventually, I'll be back to that Sunny #75 girl you know of in no time.
Much Love.