Black Locket

Alright. I think this is goin' to be a really personal entry.
Because I'm gonna give you an insight on what's been going on in my mind & my heart.
So..here goes. *takes a deep breath*

I've always been a girl who makes decisions
more with her brains than her heart.
I priortise more on what's right for myself than how I feel about something.
& this particular entry will exactly be on these two;
my mind & my heart.

Firstly, it's about polytechnic choices.
I know I haven't gotten my results yet.
But it's good to plan ahead right?

Red camp 4 has made me feel very attached to NP.
& now when i think about what courses I would put for my polytechnic choices,
I have a dilemma.
Should I put my choices according to a poly or the courses that I like?
Should I put all NP courses on top of my list?
Or should I priortise my main objective,
to get into Mass Comm. & put all the available Mass Comm. courses available from the various polys on top of my list?

My heart would want me to put NP courses on top of my list cos I love NP.
& they've made me feel like I'm a part of that poly already.
But my mind would tell me to put according to courses instead.
Because this is about my future, I have to choose wisely & do what's best for what's to come.

Then there's that other thing.
Something that I never told anyone about.
Something which still lingers on even when I've put it all behind me.
At least I thought I did.
I guess I'm just in denial.

Have you ever had someone who reminds you of yourself when you look at them?
It's like you see yourself in them;
they've become a part of you.
Other half, some might call it.
I guess this was also what Jordin Sparks meant when she was singing Tattoo.

Still the memory of you
Marks everything I do.

You're on my heart just like a tattoo.

Just like a tattoo,
I'll always have you.

The only people who can hurt you are the ones that matter the most.

The person wouldn't have made an impact & have the ability to hurt you if in the first place they didn't matter to you.

Sometimes, even when that someone has hurt you,
you still wish them well;
you still want what's best for that person.

As much as my heart wants to,
I know I cannot go back down that path again.
& the people around me wouldn't approve of it either.
So I should just probably shut up, keep this to myself & move on.

Yesterday night I asked my mom;
If she thinks that there are still good malay guys out there.
& she said yes.
It's not that I'm against my own race but hey, look around.
Mostly what's left of malay boys are Mats, right?
Please do correct me & prove me wrong if I am.

Even my brother, who just recently started schooling at an ITE
fusses about why doesn't he get friends with the right mind.
Cos when his friends talk about girls, it's as if we are something they use. It's like we are something they bust & when they're done with us, they just throw aside or somethin'.
& when my bro opposes them, they ask,
"why do you talk like one of them?"

Geez, what digusting behaviour.
As long as my mom & I am around,
my brother will never have the chance to be like them.
See, how can I not think that there's bleak hope in malay guys?
They're all the same nowadays.

Love the people who treat you right.
-Meredith Grey from Grey's Anatomy.

Yesterday, I met up with
Ning zhi, Kelly, Peggy, Pei Ling, Judy & Darrich,
who is back from Australia :D

I finally got to update ning zhi a bit about my life.
When I told her about somethin',
she said, "Like that only ar? So gentle."
Hmm..I guess I should have done more;
like talk some sense; maybe that would've been a wake up call...

ok, I shall drop that subject now.
Bleh.

Anyways, I can't believe I'm turnin' 18 soon!~
Eighteen. Lapan Belas. One Eight. O.O
& on da 18 some more! hahahaha.
18 shall be my lucky no. for 2008 heh :D

People already started askin' me what I want for my birthday.
& I wouldn't give them an answer cos I have nothing to say.
Cos If I replied them, they'll faint.
Yknw I have expensive taste right..
HEHE x:

Anyways, it's much more interesting to see what a person gets for you.
Cos I believe what a person gets for you represents what the person thinks of you.
& it also comes from the heart;
which is much more meaningful (:

Ok! I think I'm done blogging.
I shall leave you with a lyric & some CHEESE :D

6 January 08;

Clarke Quay




Isn't this house cute?
This house reminds me of a children show I used to watch.
If I'm not wrong the title was Bear in A Big Blue House I think haha. :P
























If I'm not wrong it's called G-max right?
Mann, I wanna ride this someday.
It's so thrilling! heh :D
I told my mom about this couple who got married & rode this.
She said siao. But I think it's uber cool lehs!
haha :D

Love Song
By Sara Bareilles.

Head under water
And they tell me to breathe easy for a while
The breathing gets harder, even I know that
You made room for me but it's too soon to see
If I'm happy in your hands
I'm unusually hard to hold on to

Blank stares at blank pages
No easy way to say this
You mean well, but you make this hard on me

[Chorus]
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'cause you asked for it
'cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'cause you tell me it's
Make or breakin' this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If all you have is leaving I'm gonna need a better
Reason to write you a love song today

I learned the hard way
That they all say things you want to hear
And my heavy heart sinks deep down under you and
Your twisted words,
Your help just hurts
You are not what I thought you were
Hello to high and dry

Convinced me to please you
Made me think that I need this too
I'm trying to let you hear me as I am

[Repeat Chorus]

Promise me that you'll leave the light on
To help me see with daylight, my guide, gone
'cause I believe there's a way you can love me
Because I say

I won't write you a love song
'cause you asked for it
'cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'cause you tell me it's make or breakin' this
Is that why you wanted a love song
'cause you asked for it
'cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'cause you tell me it's make or breakin' this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay

If your heart is nowhere in it
I don't want it for a minute
Babe, I'll walk the seven seas when I believe that
There's a reason to
Write you a love song today.

P.S. to my Bestie:
thanks for that special paragraph in your entry.
Girl, I love you too (:
& quick, please get a tagboard or a comment box!
heh :D